Varying Shades of Grey
by hallejaymes
Summary: What happens when you love someone before you really even know them? Bella watches him from afar. She soon discovers appearances can be quite deceiving. AH/OOC
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

It's a slow process. Slowly burning. I'm sitting here, watching them, pretending to be interested in the drinks in front of me and the game sounding on the overhead flat screen. It's eating me up. My heart. I have that dull ache in my chest that just won't subside. It feels like my heart was dipped in acid and it's slowly being eaten away. It hurts. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. I'm just sitting here watching them hang all over him. And worse, he's not objecting. If anything, he's giving them the attention they want, and they're eating it up. Just like my heart.

I should look away, but I can't. I'm more interested in which one he'll give into and take home. There's three brunettes and two blondes. Maybe he'll take more than one home. I've heard stories. This wouldn't be the first time. Sometimes you just hope that those 'stories' aren't true. Actually I hope most of the stories I have heard about him aren't true.

One of the brunettes walks past me to the bathroom. Short dress, chunky heels, hair that is way too long - longer than other pieces of her hair - to know that it's fake, sweaty, smeared mascara; wrong. The other four are standing around him. He's got a brunette glued to his right and a blonde, who is semi-decent, stuck to his left. They are both looking up at him. They're all giggling and doe-eyed at his every word. All of them hoping they will be the one who gets to sleep in his bed tonight, smell his pillows, snuggle in his sheets. Just a little part, only a tiny part of me wishes that I could be one of them. Just to know what it's like. Just one time. But that's all it would ever be. A one-time thing. I don't want that. I want more than that. I want a life-time.

Forever.

A/N: So… this is my first try EVER at writing anything, really. I've been thinking of writing something for almost a year now and I've finally gotten the courage to do it. As of late I do not have a Beta. I just wrote this last night and really wanted to post it. I went through it as best I could. Sorry if there's some errors. I'm looking for someone who can make my words look good together.

I can't give you a definite posting schedule since I'm just getting started and I just write whenever it comes. I promise it won't be too long between updates. J

Reviews would be awesome. I would really like to know what you all think. All I've ever heard from my Lit teacher was pretty much that I SUCK at writing.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Chapter 1**

I decide I've had enough for one night and walk to the back room to see if I can get out of helping close up. _God, I need to get out of here_. My feet are killing me and I feel light-headed. The smoke's getting to me, the music, just… everything. I can't find Jasper so I head back out to the front. My eyes are getting blurry from the smoke. Squinting, I try to focus them and look around the club, spotting Jasper at the far-end of the bar talking to a man. Upon closer inspection, it turns out to be Mike Newton, well-known Chicago businessman.

I hurry over to him, catching the last of the conversation. Jasper's trying to persuade him to invest into the nightclub market. Always about business with this guy here. The guy he's talking to turns toward me and stares, giving me the once-over. Ugh, men… Looks like your typical sleaze ball and he's quite unattractive. Giving him a polite, but fake smile, I turn towards Jasper and discreetly pinch his arm.

"Ow!" He jumps a bit and turns towards me, eyeing me warily, confused as to why I just did that.

"Jasper, um, can I talk to you for a sec?" I nod my head in the direction behind me.

Nodding, he turns back around to face Mike.

"Mike, can you excuse us? I'll be right back," he says as he turns and follows me toward the back room.

Half-way down the bar, we're interrupted with a hand slapping down on the counter and a command of 10 Jager Bombs.

"Bell, can you get this real quick and I'll go finish up with Mike, then we can talk?" Jasper asks and of course I can't say no because I know how long Jasper has been trying to talk to Mike all night. He's really been wanting to open up another club here in Chicago and is hoping Mike will be a partner in the deal.

"Yeah, I can handle it Jazz. Go talk to Mike," trying to hide my annoyance, I give him a forced smile and playfully push him away. Looks like I'm not gonna get out of here as soon as I wanted.

"Thanks, Bell. Ten minutes, tops," he assures with a wink before turning and walking away.

Turning towards my hold-up, the first thing I notice is his brown eyes. They're almost black. They match his suit. His combination of dark eyes and hair make him seem semi-attractive. He kind of reminds me of this guy I once dated a few years back. I recognized him earlier sitting with _him _and the flock of 'Monica Lewinskies'.

And he's really staring at me. This scene gets old. I've learned the best defense is to act like it doesn't bother me. Act like you see nothing. It's nothing. I'm not phased.

"10 Jager Bombs, is that all for you?" I ask in attempt to fill the awkwardness while I start on the drinks, since he obviously isn't going anywhere.

Resting his elbow on the bar, he leans in closer. Ignoring my question, he heads straight for the kill. "I'm Alec… and you are…?" He says smooth and low, trying to act suave while he fails to be discreet about looking at my breasts and then back to my face. Thankfully I'm wearing a t-shirt so there isn't a cleavage show going on.

Instead of getting pissed and acting like a bitch, I decide to amuse him and play along.

"Rachel, my name's Rachel," I lie. It's a good way to not be bothered by hearing 'Bella' the rest of the night.

"Ah, well… Rachel, it's nice to meet you. How about you go and ask your boss over there if you can get off early and come and join me and my friends over there?" he asks while pointing with his thumb over his shoulder in the opposite direction - right at the table _he's _sitting at.

_No effing way am I going over there. No._

"By the way, Cullen said to put it on his tab." I nod to let him know I've acknowledged his request and don't say anything in regards to the previous one.

"So… how bout it?" He's eyeing me curiously and looking smug at the same time. I've had about enough of this. He's expecting me to oblige. There's no way in hell I'd go over there and watch those girls crawl all over _him. _No thanks.

"Well, Alec, actually I am going to go over and ask my boss something, but it won't be that. I've had enough for one night. If I'm going anywhere, it will be home." Exasperated, I look at his amused expression and raise my eyebrow.

"Here's your shots. You don't want to keep your friends waiting, now do you?" I scoot all ten across the bar, turn, and walk over to Jasper, not bothering to look back.

Jasper is just finishing up with Mike as I get there. Good deal.

"Okay, Mike, I'll call you tomorrow and we'll set up a time to discuss this further. I'll see ya later."

Mike, giving a curt nod, waves as he walks away from the bar. He immediately spots an unsuspecting girl and starts toward her. _Oh for the love of chocolate!_

I lean against the bar and look at Jasper expectantly.

"So… how did it go?" I fish for info.

He gives me a smirk and rolls his eyes as if trying to be nonchalant about it.

"Let's just say… It's in the bag," he smiles.

I beam at him, truly happy for him and pat his shoulder.

"Well done Jasper, ever the business man," I tease while smiling.

Lightly laughing, he comes to lean against the bar beside me.

"Well, we'll really celebrate when the deal actually happens. Deal?" You can see he's excited but doesn't want to completely get his hopes up.

"Oh yes, most definitely." I beam at him.

"Don't worry, Jazz, it'll work out. I mean, look at this place! It's booming. We're full five nights out of the week. Hardly a place to scoff at." I assure him while pointing out the obvious.

Jasper sighs and reluctantly shakes his head in agreement.

"You're right on that, Bella. I can't deny this place has been doing great ever since it opened. Even the reviews have been positive."

Turning towards me, he smiles.

"Okay, enough about me. What did you want to talk to me about?" He curiously asks.

Before answering, I glance over to the table in the far left corner and see that both men are still surrounded by the group of easies. Not really caring about Alec, I zone in on _him _and see a brunette sitting beside him, running her hands through his brown - and what seems to be sex - hair while whispering in his ear and giggling. He's not laughing, though.

No, the man dressed in a black suit and blue shirt with the two top buttons undone, is staring at me. Instead of looking directly into his eyes, I focus on his messy hair. It's brown but the way the light in the club hits it, there appears to be reddish highlights throughout it. He has really nice hair. It looks thick and soft, like you just want to run your fingers through it.

I am snapped out of my appraisal by Jasper saying my name.

"Bella? You okay?" Jasper asks, eyeing me.

Turning back to him, I sigh and shake my head. In all actuality, I'm not really okay, but I can't tell Jasper about my problems.

"I think so… I don't know. I just haven't been feeling very well," I say while running my hand through my hair.

Eager to get this over with, I just spit it out.

"Actually Jazz, I was wondering if maybe I could get out of here before the night's over. Think I'm coming down with something and just need to sleep it off." I look at him while biting my lip. It's a nervous habit of mine. What I'm nervous about, I'm not sure, but I do know that I need to get out of here. _Please, please let luck be on my side tonight._

I'm the only person on staff tonight besides Jasper. The real Rachel had an emergency and wasn't able to come in and Rose has tonight off.

Jasper 'hmms' and looks at his watch.

"Yeah, sure why not? We've only got about 45 minutes til closing. I think I can handle it. Go home and get some rest," he smiles reassuringly at me. He's just like a big brother. Always making me feel better.

I internally relax and thank the heavens.

"Alright, thanks Jazz, I owe you one," I say as I grab his face and kiss his cheek. I am rewarded with Jasper's classic wide-as-fuck smile, his hazel eyes shining. He really is too cute. Him and his blonde curls. Too bad I think of him as a brother. One of these days, some nice girl will come along and snatch him right up.

Giving him another smile and I turn and head towards the back room.

"I'll see ya Thursday!" I holler and wave.

Finding my purse, I pull my tips out of my pocket and put them in my wallet. It's too easy to get mugged on the streets of Chicago this time of night.

Deciding to leave through the front entrance, the alley being dark and scary at one in the morning, I throw my jean jacket on and head towards the door.

Halfway through the club, I faintly hear the name 'Rachel' being called out. Realizing it's Alec, I internally roll my eyes and up my pace.

He catches up to me and grabs my arm, spinning me towards him.

Seeming a little out of breath, he says the name again.

"Rachel, wait… are you sure you don't want to join us?" Ha… really? This is getting old, fast. I chance a glance over to the table he came from and instantly wish I hadn't. The brunette from before, is sitting on _his_ lap, palming his cheek while she talks to him. She seems to have his attention this time. Yuck.

His eyes find mine and his gaze is so dark and piercing. Quickly, I look away before I become lost in his stare. I turn my attention back to the man in front of me who is really starting to irritate me.

"No, _Alec, _I don't. Oh, and by the way, my name's not Rachel, so quit calling me that." The frustration becoming evident in my voice.

He looks a bit taken aback and confused.

"Well what _is_ your name then?" He asks with sincerity.

With a bit of hesitation I'm not sure whether I should tell him or not. I don't like him and I don't want his attention. He's a nice guy, but he's just not… _him… _There's really no point in telling him my real name. Especially if I ever see him here again.

"Well, see, I would have told you my real name but I'm not interested and I thought you clearly would have gotten that by now. But you since haven't, I'll be leaving now. Goodnight." With finality, I pull my arm out of his grasp, turn and continue to the door.

Why do I have to always come off as such a bitch? Some guys just don't _get _it.

Hopefully he won't be here Thursday.

I shiver and run my hands together when I step outside. The temperature's really dropped since I started my shift at eight. Pulling my jacket tighter around me, I walk a little ways toward the street to hail a taxi. Shouldn't be too hard at this time of night since the streets are starting to thin. I can't do the whole 'taxi whistle' so I settle for throwing my hand up and hollering. One pulls up a moment later and I am saved. Well, not really, but that's how I feel right now in this situation because I really needed to get away from here.

Getting in, I tell the driver my address in River North and lay my head back against the seat closing my eyes. I must doze off because all too soon the driver is calling me Miss and telling me the fare. I hand him a twenty, telling him he can keep the change and get out. I can't wait to just go to bed and put an end to the day.

Walking in, I am greeted by the doorman, Eleazar. Giving him a polite smile and hello, I walk over to the elevator and push the up button. I hit the button for the twelfth floor on the pad as soon as I step in the elevator and wait for it to close. On the way up I stare at my reflection in the mirror and see my face is drained of all color, my makeup smudged from the sweaty environment and my hair is a ratty mess. _Wow, real attractive there, Bella._

How in the hell did I happen to get hit on tonight? Huh. Club life does not seem to agree with me.

The only reason I have that job is because the hours work with my schedule and the tips are good. God knows I need the money for this apartment every month. It's not cheap living for a college student. Thank goodness my schooling is paid for by a yearly scholarship. Otherwise I would be well and truly fucked.

As soon as I get into my apartment I lock the door and take off my shoes. The hardwood floor feels soothing on my achy feet. I head to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. The cold feels so good on my raw throat. Again, I am reminded of why I need to get a different job.

I walk into the bathroom to wash my face and get all the bar grime off.

I can't stop thinking about him. He's really all I ever think about which is strange because I don't even know him. I've seen him around a few times but that's it. He's so good-looking. I can't even compare any other men I've seen to him. He's in a class of his own. There's just something about him. His green eyes, sharp jaw line, high cheek bones, full, pouty lips. He is beautiful, really. Not the most masculine description, however, 'beautiful' really is the word that best describes him. Perfect. Too perfect for me…

_Keep dreaming, Bella…_

When I'm sure my face is clean, I shut the light off and head into my bedroom. I take off my jacket and jeans, tossing them on the floor and crawl under my duvet. Waiting for sleep to overcome me, I lie there thinking about tonight and just how bad it hurt. I'm convinced that's all there is and all it will be.

After awhile I drift off to sleep and dream about smoke and green eyes.

**A/N: So….? What do you think? **

**I would just like to give a big thanks to a certain Aussie, Vronnie, for all of her help and making my writing look infinity times better. **

**Reviews to my day are like what cool whip does to my yogurt. It makes it 10x's better. **


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